I won't let you go

you know what? i woke up this morning and i realised that i only blog when i am feeling a rush of negative emotion. like anger, or sadness, or maybe even confusion. its so weird. we had a big fight on thursday...and he said that he didnt love me as much anymore. that hurts. alot. before that he said that he thinks that i dont love him. that hurt too. but i changed that thought already, whats harder is to make him love me the way that he did before. thats gonna be tough. but i'll do it. i'll quit being emo. thats gonna be a big part of my life gone out the window. cuz most of my inspiration comes from my anger and emo-ness.. i'll start smiling... that is what he wants right? i'll start taking initiative.. to prove that i really want this to work out. after all, its been almost a year. a year of having someone to love and care for. and a year of receiving that in return. a year of problems. a year of thinking that i was giving all i had when i wasnt. if i had been giving it all, i would have stopped emo-ing a long time ago cuz i know that he hates it. alot of people ask me if i regret meeting him because of all the pain that i have been going through. my answer? no. we've had ups and downs. like someone once told me, relationships are like mountains, they go up, and down, and when they go down, sooner or later, theyre gonna ave to go back up. so im staying here until it goes up. im am not just gonna let you go over this. i am going to make this change. i am going to change. jayden asked me last night "do you think its worth it?" i say..yes it is. i love him.